Oh em gee, I just died and went to the heaven where all the painfully cute things go!

10knotes:

I recommend following this blog, you won’t regret it!

(via sweetestcondition)

*love*

(via doormaker)

Now, I’m a lamp!

ohheyllbean:

Love.

HAHAHAAHAHAHA.

“People change. Now I’m a lamp.”

Dead.

(via roberto)

“I bet Shroedinger didn’t have this problem…”
Song and lyrics by Mariana Ortega

Today’s the first day back from our trip. I don’t know where we went
I must have blocked it out since it was so bad, I wanted to forget
I yelled and threw that vase at your head like so many before me
That night you weren’t able to perform, though you tried so hard for me.

Yes, you tried so hard to please me
But it felt like nothing

Last week, you soiled yourself in the living room, and I cleaned it up
Then you scratched up all of my furniture and made your mark
Don’t you know that I am on a limited budget
And your lazy ass won’t get his princess self to the unemployment office

Why can’t you get a job?
Maybe cause you have no thumbs…

Chorus:
When I rescued you from that shelter, I thought this could work
But then you came home and you ate my pet bird
It felt so good when you’d stick your kitty claws in my no-no spot
But this time I’ve had enough, I think we should break up

I think we should break up

Our love life hasn’t been the same since Sgt. Fuzzy Boots passed
And now you spend all your time grooming like the Real Housewives cast
And I’d give anything to have it the way it used to be
But now you saw that you need catnip to make kitty love to me

Kitty love to me

Chorus

Just because I’m sending you to that god-awful shelter doesn’t mean that I don’t care
Maybe you’ll find another lover in your time there
Just know that what we had wasn’t meant to be
And yes, I’ll get another cat
To fill the void in me

Fill the void in me

Let’s face it any day now, PETA would be back
And any man I brought to the house you made your midnight snack
Let’s just be glad it ended on good terms
Otherwise I’d have to put you down, I’d just say it was worms

Just say it was worms…

Chorus

Baaaaaaahahahahahaha “Bitch, please!”

mrmanager:

I love you, Granny the Badass.

mtsullivan:

Now you’ve pissed off Grandma

(via fuckyeahprotest)

thedailywhat:

This x That:

Know This:

• 2011 Sendai Earthquake: Explosion at Fukushima Daichi’s No. 2 reactor damages suppression pool, several employees temporarily evacuated; Kyodo: Radiation tops legal limit following blast; nuclear energy scrutinized in wake of Japanese crisis; USGS upgrades earthquake magnitude to 9.0; Tokyo governor Shintaro Ishihara: Tsunami was divine punishment for selfish greed; The Big Picture: Japan - Vast Devastation; Above: Nagasaki bombing aftermath (bottom) vs. 2011 Sendai Earthquake (top). [via.]

• Saudi troops, UAE police enter Bahrain to protect government facilities.

• Glenn Beck’s The Blaze takes a closer look at James O’Keefe’s NPR sting video, finds key phrases edited out; NPR spokeswoman: Some of Schill’s statements still “egregious.”

• United Space Alliance employee dies after falling off Space Shuttle Endeavour launch pad.

• RIP: Joe Morello, Dave Brubeck drummer, dead at 82. Also: Blues musician Big Jack Johnson, at 70.

Read This:

• iPad 2 sold out, 70% went to new purchasers.

• Zune PMP to be phased out at Microsoft.

• Etsy’s new People Search tool raises serious privacy concerns.

The Other:

• NewsFeed: Dr. Snowboard: Priest Gets Advanced Degree in Snowboarding.

• Tea x Time List: 18 Old-Timey Photos You Won’t Believe Aren’t Photoshopped.

“In the Aeroplane Over the Sea”
Neutral Milk Hotel (covered by Mariana Ortega)

I’m now in love with this guy.

poptech:

Infographic of the Day: The Next 25 Years in Emerging Tech | Co.Design

The Daily What calling out all the fools a da world.

thedailywhat:

This Is The Absolute Worst of the Day: So Jennifer Aniston is starring in a new “viral ad” to promote Smart Water, and it is, without an inkling of doubt, the single worst thing you will ever let come into contact with your eyeballs, forever.

From self-describing itself as “viral,” through its glib, Revenge of the Nerds-esque portrayal of “Internet boys,” to employing memes that are quite literally as old as the Internet, this video was clearly produced by people who not only lack a basic familiarity with Internet culture, but appear to be openly disdainful of the Internet and anyone who uses it.

Dear ad execs: Pandering to the Internet requires a bit more than typing the word “Internet” into Google and pressing the I’m Feeling Lucky button.

[smartwater.]

So, it’s been forever since I’ve posted lovely Tumblr spam. I’m happy to be back…for a bit…

French Fry Baby - Porous Walker

Ah, to be this lady…

Jaguars: No chains, no grillz, no sags. It’s a classy joint.

Is it wrong that I really, REALLY enjoyed this???

joshbelville:

thedailywhat:

So This Happened of the Day: As part of The New York Times’ visual exploration of classic screen types “Fourteen Actors Acting,” James Franco flirts with, and eventually makes out with, himself.

[nyt.]

Could James Franco be any cooler of a human being?

My new favorite person:

foreheadtittaes:

PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME NOW.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT NOTHING I POST HERE WILL EVER INTEREST YOU AND THE ONLY THING WE PROBABLY HAVE IN COMMON IS THAT WE BOTH HAVE EYES AND ARE THEREFORE CAPABLE OF SEEING THIS MESSAGE. GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND DO A LITTLE BIT OF SELF-REFLECTION IF YOU CAN — PREFERABLY BEFORE YOU ACQUIRE VOTING RIGHTS BECAUSE FUCK, I’D HATE TO SEE THE FATE OF THE WORLD DEPEND ON THE LIKES OF YOU.