Philo-anima

“I bet Shroedinger didn’t have this problem…”
Song and lyrics by Mariana Ortega

Today’s the first day back from our trip. I don’t know where we went
I must have blocked it out since it was so bad, I wanted to forget
I yelled and threw that vase at your head like so many before me
That night you weren’t able to perform, though you tried so hard for me.

Yes, you tried so hard to please me
But it felt like nothing

Last week, you soiled yourself in the living room, and I cleaned it up
Then you scratched up all of my furniture and made your mark
Don’t you know that I am on a limited budget
And your lazy ass won’t get his princess self to the unemployment office

Why can’t you get a job?
Maybe cause you have no thumbs…

Chorus:
When I rescued you from that shelter, I thought this could work
But then you came home and you ate my pet bird
It felt so good when you’d stick your kitty claws in my no-no spot
But this time I’ve had enough, I think we should break up

I think we should break up

Our love life hasn’t been the same since Sgt. Fuzzy Boots passed
And now you spend all your time grooming like the Real Housewives cast
And I’d give anything to have it the way it used to be
But now you saw that you need catnip to make kitty love to me

Kitty love to me

Chorus

Just because I’m sending you to that god-awful shelter doesn’t mean that I don’t care
Maybe you’ll find another lover in your time there
Just know that what we had wasn’t meant to be
And yes, I’ll get another cat
To fill the void in me

Fill the void in me

Let’s face it any day now, PETA would be back
And any man I brought to the house you made your midnight snack
Let’s just be glad it ended on good terms
Otherwise I’d have to put you down, I’d just say it was worms

Just say it was worms…

Chorus